JOURNAL

to play or not to play

What is real?

how much of one’s own projections influence or alter’s one’s perception of reality?

we are all the sum of our own experiences, dreams, hopes and fears.

what is real to one may be false to another,
what is happiness to one may be a disaster to another
in a world full of misunderstandings, mis-trust and misconceptions
music, art, poetry and literature at its best becomes more and more essential, we create the way we are, regardless of our physical exterior, male, female, young, aged, balanced, soul injured, dreamers, extroverts or introverts…

the best artists are those who are able to share their inner most voices, without fear, without greed, without reservation, without shame.

sharing with each other and with the world one’s most honest and the most beautiful visions, the result may be impressive, disturbing, powerful and inspiring. What ever it is one has to give, as long as it is sincere and exquisite, one would have given one’s best to life.

and that, would be authentic,
much needed and welcomed in a world of too many artificialities and false truths.

The word Solitude in Chinese is made up of two characters,

孤 独 Gu Du

Gu is mostly applied to suggest loneliness; to describe children without parents; elderly without heirs, individuals who had lost their life mates…etc. Yet it was once used by Kings and Sovereigns of the ancient times when referring to them selves: This Lonely One, to remind those around that his position has no equal, no partnerships and no companions.

Du was originally used to describe wolves or wild canines who are so fierce that they can not live in groups, but had to roam the wild on their own, due to their combative nature.
In time it came to mean Unique, Singular, Exceptional, above and beyond all competition and comparison.

To be alone does not have to be a negative or pessimistic state.
it all depends on who you are on the inside.

some animals can not survive when separated from their herd or pack, others thrive when living alone on their chosen territory.
It all depends on their nature. And the same is true for human beings.

Some require the security and companionship of their own kind to survive, moving in groups, bond by kinship, by fear of predators, by the instinct of needing each other, needing protectors to take on the responsibility that one is too afraid or too weak to assume.
Then there are those who needs the open space and silence, the solitary hunters, who requires no protection in numbers nor guidance from elders, those who seek out the unknown on their own, facing nature, fear, hunger, death, conquest and peace in their own way…

Even in today’s society of great crowds and the hyper active ( to the point of hysteria) connectability between humans, some experiences remain singular, to be lived through by the individual alone,
Dreams, for example, one can not share that experiences with anyone else no matter how close the tie or relationship, one can speak about it, tell it and describe it, but one lives through it all on their own.

When dreaming, we are all artists, because the source is obscure, unknown, enchanting, beautiful and often powerful. When creating Art, Music, Poetry, Literature…etc. the same mesmerizing and un-explainable source rises to offer ideas, inspirations, images and emotions.
The artists who are able to translate and transcribe these feelings would have successfully created something unique, a piece of the divine and the wild. And this, can only arrive in the landscape of one’s own chosen solitude.

The oldest existing book in China is the 易经
Yi Jing or I Ching: The Book of Changes
literally: the Manual of Mutations.

Its origines dates back to 3000 years BCE, by the time of the Zhou dynasty (1046-256 BCE), the text was already well established as a classic. The earliest manuscript in existence dates from the Warring Period (476-221 BCE), and has remained one of the most ancient cultural heritage to the Chinese civilization, inspiring and influencing the very foundations of our culture and philosophy.

nearly 5000 years ago, the ancient Chinese have concluded by observing the natural cycles in nature, that CHANGE, is the only consistent element in life, the mutation or metamorphose of all things is the one fundamental rule in our reality.

yet today still so many of us are afraid of Change, we still fear the unknown, fear of losing what we believe we possess, fear of having to adapt and adjust to meet new realities, new circumstances and the necessary transformation of the self in order to incorporate such changes.

yet in truth, nothing stays the same, not the self, not the world, not our emotions, our perceptions and projections, everything is constantly moving and altering, though we may not wish to notice or accept this

when there is growth, there will also be decline, where there is life, there will also be death, it is true for all living things, it is also true for ideas, feelings, impressions and understandings

in music, we never play the same things twice, even if we are performing the same partition, the Chaconne or the Titan has never been played the same way, not even by the same artists,
because each moment is unique, because we are alive and the art we create and produce reflects our ever changing nature, even if we are not always aware or welcome this truth

to fear Change, is to fear life, to reject Change is to deny our selves the possibility of real growth and potential for further development. Would a tree or a wild animal deny their own nature and resist growth? Change is to be celebrated, as it is the basis of life, and the evidence that we are fully alive.

The lord of the South Sea was called Shu (Brief), the lord of the North Sea was called Hu (Sudden), and the lord of the Center was called Hun-tun (Chaos). 

Brief and Sudden from time to time came together for a meeting in the territory of Chaos, and Chaos treated them very generously. One day, Brief and Sudden discussed how they could repay Chao’s kindness. “All men,” they said, “have seven openings so they can see, hear, eat, and breathe. But Chaos alone doesn’t have any at all. Let’s try to bore some holes in him!”
Every day they pierced an hole, and on the seventh day Chaos died.

Zhuang Zi
(369-286 BCE)

sometimes, out of kindness, love, and sympathy, one may wish to help another being, by offering what one believes to be good gifts: advice, action, material, alteration of cirumstances, intervention and prevention…etc.
motivated by kindness and generosity, but these gifts are not always welcomed or suitable, the result does not always bring postive improvement to those whom one had wished to aid. Good intentions and sincerety does not always result in satisfaction and peace for all, sometimes the best action is non-action, following the natural way of things, as each of us have our own landscape to explore and create over time

then there are those who demand from Others certain sacrifices, to fulfill their own lack of security, to serve their own ambition and other selfish needs. These individuals will use all the tools they posses to aquire the enslavement of others whose talents, resources, and intelligence are superior.

Such individuals will use their own body, and anything else they can amass to entrap and possess others in order to serve their own goals. These are the blackmailers, petty thieves, parasites, and hijackers of Lives, profiting the kindness, compassion, trust, and generosity of others as a weapon to ambush those who were kind enough to offer friendship, love, and respect which they do not deserve

instead of learning from those with openness of mind, of heart, and spirit, these sordid individuals will try to cut off the wings from those who are truly free. Using harassment, guilt trip, sabotage, vulgar threats, and all other manner of ignoble tactics to chain up and drag down the free spirits into caves of toxic darkness, so that their own emptiness may feel less hopeless. Instead of nurturing and promoting growth, they strangle and pollute all that is free and beautiful out of fear and jealousy.

I would prefer to die like Chaos at the friendly hands of Brief and Sudden, whose action was motivated by kindness, though completely mis-guided, than to succomb to dishonorable individuals driven by envy and the fear of light.

The true adversary of beauty are those who can not allow it to flourish in its nature and liberty. When facing such a despicable enemy, this is a battle I will always be ready to engage till the end of time

more than 30 years ago, Inspector Callahan spit out those words looking down the barrel of his Smith & Wesson model 29, and every impressed spectator sighed with a feeling of the world was made well again.

that is why many of us go to the movies, there is always an answer or solution at the end of two hours, no matter how complex the plot nor how impossible the task.

now days, looking at the news or even one’s private e mails are another matter. All around there is fear, anger, sordidness, disaster. War, terror, diseases, hunger, injustice, misery and hopelessness, with no solution in sight.

Or

the Day can be Made in other ways

the act of MAKING implies we have a choice.

Making Music, Making Art, Making Peace ( or War), Making Friends ( or foes), Making a story, Making love, Making compliments ( or insults), Making a Sandwich, Making an effort to help ( or destroy), Making a violin ( or a cello), Making paper ( or ink), Making a fire, Making progress, Making discoveries, Making jokes, Making mistakes, Making dreams, Making tea…etc

one can MAKE a lot!

the question is what and how you are going to make this day?

choose delight, beauty, sharing creativity, harmony and wonder
or embrace anguish, paranoia, dominated by fear and hate

one can choose to make our day, our night, our life in so many different ways
what will you choose on this day?

Yesterday I saw a drawing of Winnie the Pooh walking hand in hand with Piglet.
Piglet asks: What day is it?
Winnie the Pooh answers: it’s today.
Piglet says: oh good! it’s my favorite day!

indeed, why should today not be the favorite day, everyday?

We usually have a collection of favorite and memorable Yesterdays, yet those days started out as Todays: open, ready and full of possibilities

In Chinese, the word Today, litteraly means :
今天 the sky of the present Or 今日 the sun of now
and the words for Tomorrow can be translated as:
明天 the Luminous Sky
or the Sky of Sun and Moon…

A lot of potential…illuminated by both the light of the sun and moon…
the ancient Chinese have endowed each tomorrow with such glorious, gracious attributes. My ancestors must have had much optimisim for what has yet to come, having ultimate faith in what the next day would bring forth

sometimes a simple message can evoke much thought and contemplation, truths and illuminations are not only to be found in masterpieces, but also simple and basic gestures. A word, an image, a voice, a color, a sound, a memory, a wisp of an idea…

recently I received a rather curious piece of fan mail, using a mis-spelled pseudonym of a famous suicidal spouse of a famous suicidal writer, the person had sent to me a collection of motivational quotes à la Hallmark. Including pieces of wisdom spanning from Shakespeare to Steve Jobs, with Mandela, Paulo Coelho and Bob Marley in between. A bit odd but quaint combination of sages, all that was missing was the Dalai Lama, Gandhi and Yoda. Or Winnie the Pooh, who was also very wise, despite the fact of being a stuffed bear.

Enlightenment can come through the voices of Zhuang Zi, Johann Sebastian, Rabindranath or Carl Gustav. It can also arrive from the words and actions of Sun Wu Kong, Goldmund, Tristan and Piglet.
( I am feeling inspired now to make my own list of gurus)

Like many others on this planet, I have a special reverence for Master Yoda, who had a very unique and piercing way of seeing and explaining things:

“To be Jedi is to face the truth, and choose.
Give off light, or darkness. Be the candle, or the night.”

While the light is essential, sometimes, we also need the night…without which, we would not recognize the light.

November 20th was the Universal Children’s Day, it also marked the 26th anniversary of the UN Convention of the Rights of the Child.

for all of us who have worked in humanitarian efforts in helping children in need, this is both a celebration and a reminder that much work needs to be done, globally, in far corners of the world where conflict, disease, poverty and natural disasters continues to threaten the well being of children from all nationalities, as well as children who are closer to home, who may be suffering from different kinds of trauma.

Just because a child has a home, physically healthy parents; access to education and health care does not mean he or she is protected from mental, physical and emotional abuse. Often in the hands of the parents or adults whose role is to nurture and protect them.

It is very harsh to witness scenes of children escaping from war zones, orphaned by conflict, disease and poverty, these children are of course a priority to those who are ready and willing to offer aid in any and every way. It is no less disturbing to observe children in our own first world communities who are subject to the manipulations and abuses from their own parents.

As a child training to become a professional musician, I have seen many ‘stage parents’ driven by their own hunger for fame and success, pushing their offspring beyond what is considered healthy and balanced learning process, creating negative environments where the children must ‘earn’ the support and comfort of the parents through excellence in their studies.

My own upbringing did not escape such pressures, which in my own experience, did not serve as a positive motivation, on the contrary, it alienated me from the parent whose ambition I was responsible to fulfill, as well as creating a confusing relationship towards music.

Fortunately, most of us survive this challenging period and eventually find our way towards a happy career.

But having lived through years of being used as an ‘instrument’ to realize someone else’s goals, I have learned to recognize similar dysfunction in other parent-child relationships, indeed, many friends and colleagues share the same experiences, friends who are professional athletes have told very similar tales of childhood being a mix of thrill and enormous pressure from parents who ‘need’ the child to succeed in order to achieve their own personal glory, or material gain.

Is it right to use one’s child to further one’s own ambition?

Is it acceptable to manipulate one’s own children to arrive at one’s own fulfillment? Does the child have a right to a happy, balanced and nurturing upbringing where only his or her own well being is the objective? Or is every child at the mercy of their parents or principle caregiver?

It is certainly heart breaking to witness children living in war torn countries, refugee camps, extreme poverty and hostile society…it is equally disturbing to observe children being utilized by the adults who are responsible for their welfare: Children being used to obtain monetary advantages, social status, financial security, emotional blackmail…etc. In such instances, the child’s own needs for a well balanced and positive environment are not respected, their ‘primarily purpose’ is to facilitate selfish needs of the parental figure, individuals who do not care about the toxic and negative effects such behavior would have on the child and how it may contribute to it’s long term development.

Those of us donating our time, funding, expertise and energy to help children in dire circumstances in the Middle East, Africa, Asia…etc, Providing Shelter, Water, Health care, Education…We must continue our efforts.

But let us not forget some of the children in our own society, whose well-being, future emotional and psychological balance is at risk, only because they had the misfortune of being born to unfit parents who care more about themselves than their own children. It is not so evident how we may reach out to rescue these children, but we must try.

My own childhood was filled with certain obstacles and challenges, as often the case with children who are up-rooted at a young age, as well as being a child-musician being trained towards a professional career, where the ambition of the parent often obscured the real emotional needs and well being of the child. But I was very fortunate to have met a true mentor at a young age, who offered the kind of guidance and support I did not receive at home. My master not only taught us music, the violin, but also many essentials about life and the Self which contributed to many young musician’s well being and future success as human beings and as artists. He was the perfect parent that many of us needed but did not have, even though, at the time, he had not yet had any children of his own. To give birth to a child is certainly a challenge, but to successfully nurture a healthy and well balanced human being is a real masterpiece.

And sometimes the key benefactor parental figure is not the biological parent. (anyone familiar with Martial Arts traditions understand this!)

A child’s future is humanity’s future. There are so many ways to help, everyone can make a positive difference.